ENGL1302 El Centro College The power of Dreams Argumentative Essay Following are the documents containing rubric, feedbacks and the original document of es

ENGL1302 El Centro College The power of Dreams Argumentative Essay Following are the documents containing rubric, feedbacks and the original document of essay.I have corrected more of the mistakes. I need it to be fixed as a whole, especially, in citations. GRADING RUBRIC: ESSAY 1, THE DEFINITION ARGUMENT
1= poor
2 = weak
3= average
4= good
5 = excellent
Audience and purpose:
Essay is persuasive and convincing; does not contain logical fallacies – 4
Essay stays focused on a definition – 4
Ideas are adequately developed – 3
Content and organization:
Introduction states a clear argumentative claim + clear reasoning (TIMES 2) – 8
Term being defined is given defining characteristics or qualities – 4
Evidence and appeals are used to support reasoning (specific examples) – 5
Essay acknowledges counterargument (contains concessions/qualifiers) – 3
Includes descriptions, details, imagery, creative language – 5
Source Documentation:
In-text citations and works cited entries match – 0
Minimum of 2 credible sources included and documented – 0
Direct quotes are integrated and punctuated correctly – 2
In-text citations are correctly written and punctuated – 0
Works cited page entries are correctly written and formatted – 1
Format:
Original title, pages numbered, MLA heading and format – 2
Meets length requirement of 3-page minimum without padding – 5
Spelling/grammar/mechanics:
Prose is clear and concise – 4
College-level paragraphing, grammar, and general punctuation – 2
Spelling, word choice, diction, and general proofreading (TIMES 2) – 7
COMMENTS:
Essays must have correct MLA formatting; follow guidelines in the MLA Format Information document posted in the
course Essays section. The page headers should show the correct page number. Remove extra lines between
paragraphs; see “how to” post in the Essays section. More points will be deducted on future essays if the format is
not correct, so let me know if you need help with that.
The introduction does a good job of catching readers’ attention, but it would be better if it was a bit clearer and
more specific. Also, think about using the introduction to establish what the debate is related to your
topic and then use the claim statement (last sentence of the first paragraph) to clearly state your position
in the debate and show readers what it is you want them to be persuaded to agree with. You can test the
claim to see if it is argumentative by making sure it is possible to make a reasonable argument for the
opposite of your claim. Both sides need to be valid, but your job is to choose a side to convince readers
is the best or right position to take on the issue.
The essay has errors related to grammar/punctuation. Work on avoiding run-ons and fragments; review comma rules; be
careful with verb tense and singular vs. plural word forms. See Purdue OWL’s site if you need help or advice
about specific punctuation or grammar rules (there’s a link to Purdue OWL in our course), or work with the tutors
at the Writing Center (which will also give you extra credit). The comments on your draft should help you see
patterns and/or areas to work on;
Work on writing concisely; take out unnecessary or repetitive words and phrases;
Proofread carefully. Approach the paper with fresh eyes for your last read-through before you submit it.
See highlights and comments on the essay draft for more feedback on errors.
All direct quotations need to be integrated with present tense verb forms and correct punctuation. See the information
about signal verbs on pp. 475 of the textbook and also the section on patchwork writing, pp. 480-481 (and the
pages around those). This should also help you write good in-text citations and in-text citation parentheticals.
The biggest problem in this essay is the source documentation. It is okay to use the wording of your sentence to cite your
source some of the time (as long as the wording of your sentence clearly identifies which source on the list you
are citing), but some of the citations need to be written specifically as parentheticals. All essays in this class are
required to include parentheticals.
In-text citations must match the FIRST word of the works cited page information for the source; they work like a clue to
help readers turn to the last page and find the correct source in the alphabetical list. IF the source entry begins
with an author’s name, his or her last name will be in the parenthetical. IF you have to cite by a title (in cases
where your entry has no known author so it begins with a title), then shorten the title and keep the quotation
marks around it to show it is a title and not an author’s name. In other words, take whatever the source entry
on the Works Cited begins with and write that in the in-text citation parentheses in the same form.
Source entries on the Works Cited list should be double-spaced with no extra lines added b/w the entries, listed in ABC
order, and have hanging indents. See “how-to create hanging indents” note posted near the top of the Essays
section in our course. Also, work on choosing academic sources and avoid sources that are not written by experts
(like blogs).
The source entries on the works cited page must follow the specific guidelines for MLA sources. Look up the type of
source you are trying to document on the table of contents listed under “List of Works Cited” on Pg. 2 of the
Norton’s MLA Guidebook – Updated PDF in the Research section of our course. Other places to see examples
of how to document different types of sources include Purdue OWL, Noodlebib, and Easybib. If you use an online
citation generator, be sure you choose MLA 8th edition as your documentation style.
Overall, your essay makes some good points, and you have some interesting things to say. I especially like the part in
which you insert your personal experience to prove your point, as your writing voice gets much more natural in
that part and is more cohesive. So the main thing to focus on is using better sources and documenting them
correctly. Another way to strengthen the essay would be to make the debatable aspect of the definition clearer.
Think of how you can phrase future arguments so that you are clearly establishing where the debate is and
why readers should side with your point of view.
I’m really sorry, but this essay must be given a zero for plagiarism because it contains source information that is not
documented. You have direct quotes written that are not clearly linked to any source on the works cited page, and that is
plagiarism. If you would like to correct the essay for a higher grade, you can send the corrected, revised essay to me via
email within the THREE -day period after the grade was posted (as explained in the syllabus). The revised essay
must be sent as a Microsoft Word file attachment. The body of the email must include your full name AND explain
the kinds of changes you made to improve the essay (not a detailed list of changes, but a general list of the types of
issues you addressed). Be sure to remove all highlights and comments so you are turning in a fresh, clean draft.
Please let me know if you have any questions; I’ll be happy to meet with you during office hours and help explain how
source documentation works. You can also visit with The Writing Center if you need more help understanding source
documentation along with reviewing relevant documents posted in the course and the MLA section of the textbook. If you
correct this essay be adding works cited page source entries and clear in-text citations that match those source entry so
that all of the quotes are correctly cited for readers, I will be happy to give you the grade shown below plus more points if
the citations are correct. Additional revisions may earn additional points.
NAME:
GRADE:
NIRMAL BISTA
60 / 0 for plagiarism
Bista 1
Please use the correct file name when saving and submitting your work:
LastnameFirstnameEssay1. Do not include punctuation because that can interfere with
downloading.
Nirmal Bista
Kelly Savage
(ENGL-1302-48404)
3 November, 2019
The power of Dreams
Dreaming is not just an unconscious imaging. It is our deep intention. Different theories
have been evolved on dreaming and their meaning. Dreaming has been an interesting topic
among scientists as well as general people. What are dreams? Why do we dream? Do the dreams
symbolize any direction? These are the questions, scientists have been searching for. In an
article called “The Power of the Dream,don’t limit your possibilities”, Rusell Rowe states, ‘ If
you don’t dream, you’ll never be able to take advantage of the many opportunities the world has
to offer. You have to look outside of your current reality, and see how your life could be.’
However, just dreaming about grabbing opportunities and extending self limitations would not
work. One should be working on it as well. According to Napoleon Hill, ‘Whatever the mind can
conceive and believe it can achieve.’ Our dreams can be such powerful that if we follow our
dreams and work hard on it, it can be achieved sooner or later. How we dream about our life
have a great impact on how we are going to shape our life. Whatever we achieve in our life, they
are what we have wanted. If we dream of less, we are going to get less. So we want to achieve
more in our life, we should dream of more.
1
Bista 1
Dreams are our personal desire. Our dreams reveal how far we want to get. Everyone
dreams of a successful life. But the meaning of success may differ from person to person. Some
may dream of a limted success that is just satisfactory to them. While some may dream a huge
one that might need time, patience and a hard work. So a dream one dreams decide hoe far they
want to reach. One of the greatest Nepali poet has stated ,‘Lakchhya k linu? Udi chhunu Chandra
ek’. Here, lakchhya means aim and Chandra means moon. This statement means, we should aim
so high such as reaching to the moon. An Indian author, Amar Ochani states, ‘Dreams are not
reality; dreams have the power to create the reality we are dreaming about; all we need is the
courage to believe in the power of dreams.” Dream itself is not real. Dream is just a deep thought
that our minds create. But dreams can be made real through our hard work and commitment.
Jim Carry, a famous actor states, ‘You can control your thoughts. And your thoughts
become things. Whether you think positively or negatively, the Universe will make your
consistent thoughts a reality. Make sure you spend time creating the future that you want and not
someone else’s future. It is your responsibility to control your thoughts and create them into a
positive future.’ Even the universe is under our control. Whatever we desire from the depth of
our mind, they can actually be achieved. As dreams are said to be unconscious thoughts, but we
actually have power to control those thoughts. Whether to achieve a positive result or negative,
it is up to us by creating deep intention on it. Jim carry used to be one of the struggling actors in
Hollywood. One of his videos on YouTube called, “The power of intention- Dream it alive”, he
has told about his struggling days. He had dreamt of becoming rich one day. He added that he
used his visualization of earning a lot of money. He used manifestation and worked hard in order
to convert his dream into reality. As we can see by now, he is one of the finest actors in
2
Bista 1
Hollywood. He has done so many movie. By this we can know he might have earned good
amount as well.
I used to be too weak in study during my school days. I used to fail in at least one of the
subjects every year during my school days. But I had a deep intention of initiating a business on
my own. I did not want to be a job holder whole my life. I feel myself that I have an attitude of
not liking to be dominated by others. I wanted to study business and management. But the
situation took me to choose a different path. My father passed away when I was in grade 9. I
started thinking of earning, getting job sooner, so that I could help my family financially. In
Nepal, medical students can get a job sooner than the students of other faculty. So I chose to
study Medical Laboratory Technology. I completed the course in three years without being fail.
As soon as I completed the course, I got a job in clinic. But I was not happy with what I was
doing. Then one day I met my school friend. We had a talk on our future plans. Then a turn took
in my life. I planned to go to USA or further study. And now, as I have already dreamt of, I am
studying here Associate of Management. My dream is still to be fulfilled. But I am happier that I
am on the way of my dream. I am going towards my dream. I had strong intention of achieving
studying business and management, even my life dragged me here to the USA to study my
dream subject.
Dreaming is not just an imagination our minds create but have meaning. They symbolize
the path to the direction we desire to get to. They have power to change our present. We should
dream big if we want to achieve big. But dreams are not going to be converted into reality as a
video converter does. But changing dreams into reality need a lot of hard work, commitment and
patience. Dreams are not just within the scientific facts and study. Dreams coming true is
3
Bista 1
actually a reality that one can make. Knowing the power of dreams, we should chase our dreams
and not just calling our fate bad. Only the weaker ones depend on fate. Stronger people who
belive in themselves, chase their dream with their action and achieve it. This is how powerful a
dream is.
4
Bista 1
Works Cited
Rowe, Rusell. “The Power of the Dream, Don’t limit your possibilities”. Aug 12.
https://medium.com/swlh/the-power-of-the-dream-907c3c401cdd
Teamsoul. “Turn Your Dreams Into Reality – Quotes By Jim Carrey.lJuly 18, 2018.

NOTE: See the Norton’s PDF posted at the top of the Research section of our course, #31
on p. 32 for examples of how to write works from a website. You will see how to write blogs
below that, but blogs are not academic sources so should not really be used for essays
unless it is an essay about blogging or something you need an example from.
5
Bista 1
Nirmal Bista
Kelly Savage
ENGL-1302-48404
3 Nov. 2019
The power of Dreams
Dreaming is not just an unconscious imaging and are not just what we visualize during
our sleep. It is our deep intention. Different theories have been evolved on dreams and their
meaning. Dreaming has been an interesting topic among scientists as well as general people.
What are dreams? Why do we dream? Do the dreams symbolize any direction? Scientists are
searching for the answers to these questions..
. In an article called “The Power of the Dream. Don’t limit your possibilities,” Rusell
Rowe, an author, states, “ If you don’t dream, you’ll never be able to take advantage of the
many opportunities the world has to offer. You have to look outside of your current reality, and
see how your life could be.” However, just dreaming about grabbing opportunities and extending
self limitations would not work. It needs hard work taken in action. According to Napoleon Hill,
an author, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Our dreams can be so
powerful that if we follow our dreams and work hard on them, they can be achieved sooner or
later. How we dream about our life has a great impact on how we are going to shape our life.
Whatever we achieve in our life, are what we have desired. If we dream of less, we are going to
get less. So if we want to achieve more in our life, we should dream bigger
Dreams are our personal desires. Our dreams reveal how far we want to get. Everyone
dreams of a successful life. But the meaning of success may differ from person to person. Some
may dream of a limited success that is just satisfactory to them and some may dream a huge one
Bista 2
that might need time, patience, and hard work. So the dream one dreams, decide how far they
want to reach. An Indian author, Amar Ochani states, “Dreams are not reality; dreams have the
power to create the reality we are dreaming about; all we need is the courage to believe in the
power of dreams.” Dream itself is not real. Dream is just a deep thought that our minds create.
But dreams can be made real through our hard work and commitment.
Jim Carrey, a famous actor, states, “You can control your thoughts. And your thoughts
become things. Whether you think positively or negatively, the Universe will make your
consistent thoughts a reality. Make sure you spend time creating the future that you want and not
someone else’s future. It is your responsibility to control your thoughts and create them into a
positive future.” Even the universe is under our control. Our dreams determine what we achieve
in our life. Dreams are said to be unconscious thoughts, but we actually have power to control
those thoughts. Whether to achieve a positive result or negative, it is up to us by creating deep
intention on it. Jim carrey used to be one of the struggling actors in Hollywood. One of his
videos on YouTube called, The power of intention- Dream it alive, he has told about his
struggling days. He had dreamt of becoming rich one day. He added that he used his
visualization of earning a lot of money. He used manifestation and worked hard in order to
convert his dream into reality. As we can see by now, he is one of the finest actors in Hollywood.
He has done so many movies. By this we can know he might have earned good amount as well.
I used to be too weak in study during my school days. I used to fail in at least one of the
subjects every year during my school days. But I had a deep intention of initiating a business on
my own. I do not want to limit myself as a job holder all my life. I feel myself that I have an
attitude of not liking to be dominated by others. I wanted to study business and management.
Bista 3
But the situation took me to choose a different path. My father passed away when I was in grade
9. I started thinking of earning, getting job sooner, so that I could help my family financially. In
Nepal, medical students can get a job sooner than the students of other faculties. So I chose to
study Medical Laboratory Technology. I completed the course in three years with good grades.
As soon as I completed the course, I got a job in clinic. But I was not happy with what I was
doing. Then one day I met my school friend. We had a talk on our future plans. Then a turn took
in my life. I planned to go to USA or further study. And now, as I have already dreamt of, I am
studying here Associate of Management. My dream is still to be fulfilled. But I am happier that I
am on the way of my dream. I am going towards my dream. I had strong intention of achieving
studying business and management, even my life dragged me here to the USA to study my
dream subject.
Dreaming is not just an imagination our minds create . Dreams possess meaning. They
symbolize the path to the direction we desire to get to. They have power to change our present.
We should dream big if we want to achieve big. Dreams are not going to be converted into
reality as a video converter does. Changing dreams into reality needs a lot of hard work,
commitment, and patience. Dreams are not just within the scientific facts and study. Dreams
coming true is actually a reality that one can make. Knowing the power of dreams, we should
chase our dreams and not just blaming our fate. Only the weaker ones depend on fate. People
who believe in themselves, chase their dreams with their action and achieve them. This is how
powerful a dream can be.
Bista 4
Works Cited
Rowe, Rusell. “The Power Of The Dream, Don’t Limit Your Possibilities”. The Startup.
https://medium.com/swlh/the-power-of-the-dream-907c3c401cdd.
Teamsoul. “Turn Your Dreams Into Reality – Quotes By Jim Carrey.lJuly 18, 2018.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/power-of-dreams

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